A pessimist's guide to great relationships
- Always praise your partner. People stay with you for what you show you think about them.
- Strike out the words loyalty, faithfulness and allegiance. These are words which humans have borrowed from a dog's dictionary and have no place in any relationship.
- Be pragmatic; do not keep all your eggs in one basket. Plan for a contingency and always keep people around so that you have someone to fall back on in case one relationship goes sore.
- Sharpen your skills to twist the truth (they are also known as lying skills). Always remember, every event can have different interpretations and reasons, you have to choose the one that will cause you the least amount of damage. Telling the truth never works here.
- Never introduce your current and prospective partners to each other.
- Your level of involvement in any relationship is extremely crucial. Get yourself involved enough, to convince the other person, but not too much that you will find it difficult to get out of it when you want.
- Always keep your exit strategy ready. Good relationships last forever, the greatest ones are ephemeral.
- Whoever says love is more important than money, has obviously never had champagne in a Mercedes-Benz convertible. Always find a partner with more greens than you.
- Make sure that the guilt of a broken relationship is never your burden alone. Either share it with your partner or dump it all on him/her.
- Always keep your magnanimous mask on and remember this eternal truth, if you repeat a lie regularly and consistently, you will see it metamorphocise into truth.
You can use the above, moralistically devoid, tips or strive for the utopia of eternal love and commitment. Either way, have a memorable ride.
posted by LasTheorem @ 11:01 PM
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