Notes from economy class

Another travel through economy class, and I am looking forward to new experiences and acquaintances. The economy class of any self-respecting airline, offers unlimited opportunities to make life-long friends and if you are lucky enough meet your special someone. Its actually not quite surprising when you consider that economy class is a group of people hustled together in close physical proximity, giving a new definition to the phrase "personal space", sharing the same goal, getting out of it as soon as possible. This deadly combination of physical closeness and shared vision is what leads to long lasting bonds, asserts a survey conducted by the "Hitched in Air" group.

This feeling of being "different" starts with the boarding announcement. A considerate voice behind the speaker announces that economy passengers should start boarding according to their seat numbers. The elites in air, business class passengers can board whenever they want. That proves only one thing, whoever said that all men (and women) are created equal, has definitely not travelled economy. While boarding, you are always taken through the business class. I never understood this logic, why do you want to show your customers what they will not be getting. What irritates me more is the smug satisfied faces of business class travellers with their reclining chairs, legroom large enough to fit an economy class passenger and their personal LCD screen. Don't be too happy, you are losing on a opportunity to meet someone really special, I retort. But my warning is largely ignored.

After seeing all the space in the business class, you are suddenly taken to an enclosed space which, to put it mildly, is at the opposite end of the spectrum. The number of seats have doubled, the aisle spacing has halved. First task, find a cabin that can take your luggage. You will never find a free cabin above your seat, so travel to the nearest free cabin, squeeze your bag in and find you way back to your seat, all the while braving through the steady stream of your co-passengers who are headed in the opposite direction. When you reach your seat, you have a new respect for your body for being oriented in ways that you thought were not possible. Next task, figure out where to place all the useless things sprinkled on your seat. After having invented space in the compartment on the front seat, you finally are able to place your numb behind on the seat. You heave a sigh of relief and anxiously await who is going to share the same breathing space as you for the next 12 hours. For all that is worth, the person better be a she and a pretty one at that. If you have an aisle seat, your co-passengers bladder control becomes critical, you don't want to excuse them too many times in the flight, do you. Another exercise in frugal use of space is having your meals on board. Its the ultimate test of your hand-eye-mouth co-ordination and your ingeniousness. The challenge, if you wish to accept it, is to eat without

• Hitting the person next to you.
• Staining your trousers

Till now I have managed to do one or the other, but not both.

The only saving grace of the journey are the pretty airhostesses. They are the epitome of selfless service, pandering to your every whim and fancy. How they manage to keep grinning in a job which is thankless and cloistering, is beyond my reach. I really want to stand up and salute them, but the space allocated to me does not permit me to do that. I sheepishly thank them as they move on to another ungrateful customer.

However as the plane lands and I make my way out of the economy class, I am sure some part of me is going to miss the faces with whom I shared the last 12 hours of my life.