Footballers Ten commandments.

The world cup is over (finally...) and for all the constant propaganda before and during the event, the event itself turned out to be a rather dull affair. Baring a couple of matches, the remaining failed to leave any trace in my memory.

The world cup time is a treasure trove of information for the players of the next generation, the kids who aspire to be like their heroes, idols, people whom they worship. Watching this world cup I have come up with my own list of what it takes to be a footballer...

• The no-brainer first, you should know how to play football. This is a necessary(?) but not sufficient condition to become a footballer.
• Great acting skills. A good footballer knows how to dribble the ball, a great footballer knows how to win a penalty for his team (when there is none). The knowledge of when to dive, when to show excruciating pain, when to make a "I have never wronged in my life" face, all of these ingredients go in the making of a great footballer. Watch Thierry Henry/A.K. Hangal to build up your pity-generation potential.
• Bullying skills. You should be good at kicking people (and sometimes the ball), shouldering them, clutching and tearing shirts, and a strong special-words vocabulary. These words should be specifically directed at people who show you coloured cards.
• Should have a variety of after-goal celebratory moves. Run like your house is on fire, kiss the missing ring, tell everyone to shut-up are some of them. Come up with your own.
• Ready supply of tears. You should know when and how much to cry. If you have failed to score a crucial penalty, or your team has been thrown out are only two such occasion, plenty many are yet to be explored.
• After physically assaulting your opposite team for 90 minutes, you should be bighearted enough to hug each and every player of the opposite team, console them if you have won, and be consoled if you have lost. Do not forget to exchange the sweaty shirts, and strut your stuff before the fans. I know of some members of the fairer sex who are waiting for this exact moment.
• Having a girlfriend is a must. She should be willing to be photographed, and beamed across to half of the world, celebrating your every good move and sharing your sorrows... Oh and I thought true love was long dead!!!
• Most of the club deals, and the signing of players happens during this period, so keep a close eye as to which club manager is present, so that you can perform with your audience in mind.
• Stay on the pitch long enough, if you are yellow carded the second time. You never know when someone can suffer from memory loss.
• Never read the news papers or blogs like these, they are just jealous of the money that you make for all the work that you don't do.